This month, in honor of all the New Year’s Resolutions so many are making, I wanted to talk about an important Shadow Work and Mindset issue: Worthiness.
Worthiness. What does that word evoke in you? What feelings do you feel when you think about it?
What memories come up?
Worthiness is a difficult subject for so very many. It’s one of the deepest wounds we suffer with and one we hide away from the light deep, deep in our Shadow.
We find ourselves unworthy of love.
We are unworthy of happiness.
We are unworthy of money.
We are unworthy of more.
The only thing we deserve? Struggle. Fight. Discomfort. Insecurity. Fear.
New Year’s Resolutions are a huge money making industry. Companies exploit our pain and insecurities to sell us gym memberships, new clothes, dating apps, cosmetic surgery. Even dentists get in on the action with tooth (shouldn’t it be teeth?) whitening packages and orthodontics.
I want to be very, very clear about how messed up that is.
The fact that you exist here and now makes you worthy. You being you is enough. You are worthy of love, kindness, understanding, comfort, hope.
Exactly as you are, right now, in this very moment. No matter how much squish you do or don’t have. Even if you haven’t shopped for yourself in 5 years. Even if you’ve been single for what feels like forever. No matter how imperfectly beautiful your smile is.
You are worthy right fucking now!
Our society, our teachers, preachers, role models, perhaps even our adults or family of origin began the process of us becoming unworthy in our own minds.
Inadvertent, or even worse, intentional slights and cut-downs.
Ignoring or not allowing our voices to be heard.
Invalidating our feelings – our fears, our wants, our needs, our desires.
Telling us we couldn’t know our own minds because we were too young. That we couldn’t know who we were or who we loved because we were “just” kids.
Straight up abuse (again, unintentional and intentional).
The authoritarian parenting modalities that were so prevalent in the past (and still fairly popular today, though thankfully losing traction as valid tactics with every scientific study) were harmful to generation upon generation.
This feeds our Collective Shadow.
As I said in that post, we are here to heal that Collective Shadow.
To do that, you have to start with yourself.
“Be the change you wish to see in the world” yes?
You have to be unafraid to look at those sore spots with loving eyes. See them as the wounds they are. They need your TLC to heal – no one else can do it for you.
You did nothing to deserve them, but since they belong to you, they are your responsibility to address so you can move forward.
Take the time to reflect inward. You deserve so much more than you allow yourself to experience.
The life you were meant to lead is on the other side of this work.
Live the life you were born to create.
If you’re new to Shadow Work, and want to dive in through the lens of self love and worthiness, my Reset Your Mindset program is a perfect introduction. It is available as both a one to one program and as a self study program.
Click here for more information and reach out to me if you have any questions!