It Gets Better


I wanted to talk this morning about turning things around. A few days ago, my Facebook memory from 3 years ago was “I would like to catch a damn break!” I remember exactly all the crap I was dealing with at the time. Never enough money, car dying, and a metric shit ton of negativity in life. I was mired in low vibes no matter how hard I tried. I should note that I had not come back to my magic yet – so I was stuck with mundane solutions. Those will only get you so far.

Not too long after that post, I remembered who I am. I am a witch. I do not accept the shit other people give me so they can ignore their own problems for a moment to watch others suffer. I am fucking magical and I can take control of my life again.

So I did.

The first thing I did was get back to gratitude. I got a cute little journal that made me happy to look at, and I made a list every morning of all the things in my life to be grateful for. I discovered there was far more than I had been allowing myself to see.

Then it was time to address the negativity that permeated my home.

I got some uncrossing spray from a Hoodoo shop online. Every week, I sprayed the crap out of my house. Every corner. Every door. Every window. I would spray myself after my showers. I would banish negativity with every spray and speak gratitude into the energetic space left open.

Slowly, I could see things changing. I felt lighter. The energy in my home was no longer thick with negativity. The weight of the world was coming off my shoulders.

Within 6 months, the energy of my life had vastly improved. 

I got a little raise (which is better than no raise at all). Eventually I managed to get enough money together to buy a fairly new car. And best of all, I was working my magic more and more into my life again. I was taking back control.

Things certainly weren’t perfect, but they were better. And they kept improving.

Now here I am, 3 years later. I live in one of the most beautiful areas of the country doing something I love for a living – all because I found my magic again. I decided to believe in myself once more. I allowed my guides (who had been patiently waiting for me to get my shit together) back in and started listening.

It gets better. Believe in yourself and keep going.

Good Vibes Only is Fucking Bullshit

I’m sure you’ve experienced this. Everyone who’s been on this alternative spiritual path runs into this person pretty quickly. You’re out on the interwebs, maybe in a group on a social network, looking for advice from people who’ve been running this block for a minute or two about a negative thing you’ve experienced or are feeling. 

You explain the situation, you talk about your feelings, and click “post” with the hope that someone will offer some wise words or comfort (or both!).

Among the first responses you receive “Everything in life is a mirror. Your vibe just isn’t high enough. Look within. Namaste and Love and Light”

So that’s super helpful right? You suck and this situation is entirely your fault because you don’t know how to vibe right. Boo you.

Nah, fuck that. I repeat: FUCK THAT.

That’s walking a pretty fine line juuuuust this side of victim blaming, and we don’t do that hereIt’s spiritual bypassing at its finest and I am not down.

Look, I believe in manifesting. I know it’s real because I do it. I believe life throws lessons at us because we’re here to learn. I believe life has difficult moments, and those moments help us appreciate the beauty in the world that much more.

But I do not believe that bad shit happening in life is because your vibe isn’t high enough. The Buddha died of food poisoning. Jesus was crucified. They were some pretty high vibe people my friend, and they went out hard. His Holiness the 14th Dali Lama has been exiled from his own country for most of his life. Dude is pretty high vibe in my book.

Bad things happen to good people. That’s not a fucking mirror, that’s life sometimes.

Namaste Nancy pretends she’s out there living 5D, but the truth is her vibe is fake. She hasn’t learned to check her ego. So she passive aggressive posts accusing others of having low vibes to try to raise hers. She is a decidedly low vibing jerk. 

How do I know? Because someone who keeps their vibe high is a person full of compassion and love. A person full of compassion and love would empathize. They would offer words that help you. Words that guide you. Words that comfort you. Not words that blame you.

Is love and light in and of itself bad? No, of course not. It’s the condescension that often goes with the phrase that I take issue with. Keep using it if you’re also offering compassion and empathy. Use the shit out of it in that case!

Are you sometimes presented with a mirror? Sure. Especially if you haven’t been doing your shadow work. Projection is a real thing, and it can get messy. But most of the time, it’s a lesson we’re being offered. Often that lesson is to help you deepen your compassion and empathy. Nancy has been ignoring her lessons again.

Does living in a constantly low vibe mean your life is not everything it could be? Again, sure. But most people’s lives are not everything they could be because most people don’t know what they’re capable of. That includes you, me, and Nancy up there on that horse of hers. None of us are living the life we could be, but at least you and I are actually trying.

Feeling bad happens. Feeling sad happens. Tough situations happen. They only become a reflection of you if you decide that’s where you want to live.*

So go ahead and feel it. Feel that “low vibe”. Embrace it. Thank it for what it’s trying to teach you. Love it. Then release it. THAT’S how we get to those good vibes, by not pretending the bad things don’t happen to everyone. And just ignore Nancy, she’s not ready for the next level.

*One side note: Depression is real. It’s chemical. It’s physical. If you can’t shake that sad, that tapped out, that blah, that empty? Please reach out to a mental health professional. I love you and I want you to be happy and lead a fulfilling life. You can’t do that if you’re not taking care of your mental health.